Where Art Thou, Father?

We often address this question to our Father in heaven, but I'm addressing it to all the human fathers out there. Where are you? I'm not just talking to divorced men who neglect to keep up with their children. I'm talking about fathers who are members of intact families but nevertheless are out of touch with their children.

We no longer adhere to the traditional model of "father as provider" and "mother as homemaker." Yet numerous studies continue to find that mothers are the main workers in the home. These studies find that even women who work full-time do the majority of the cleaning and cooking.

But I'm addressing a different task here, namely, the all-important one of child-raising. Fathers are highly important to the mental, emotional and physical development of their children. Unfortunately, some fathers opt out of major decisions concerning the children, e.g., what after-school activities they should participate in, what they'll do on weekends, sometimes even what school they will attend. Then there are the myriad little details like homework that require supervision but which are delegated to the mother or paid tutor. The fathers may not be home, are busy on the phone, or at the computer.

What is the result of all this? Dad is losing irreplaceable time to spend with his children before it's too late. Your children miss you, Dad. They may try numerous times to get your attention but at some point - maybe next week or next year - they will give up. If and when that happens you will both lose out. Take action now.