Fighting over Discipline

She thinks he's too lax, he thinks she's too strict. Or, vice-versa, he's too strict and she's too easygoing. When parents disagreed and argue about discipline, they and their children suffer. One child may become anxious, afraid of making a mistake. Another may act up, trying to draw attention, even if it's negative. A third may become manipulative, getting out of doing tasks or gaining unwarranted perks. All these behaviors are signs of tension in the home. You, the parent, may feel overwhelmed and lose control of the children.

When parents disagree, they need outside assistance to guide them. An empathic, experienced therapist can work with them so that they'll learn age-appropriate expectations without becoming defensive about their own child-raising. It cannot be summarized in a how-to manual. Parents are individuals with their own childhood histories, and their parenting will reflect their imitation or rebellion against their upbringing.

So be patient with yourselves and with each other. You're here to learn.